50shadesoftobias:

I’m in too many fandoms to be emotionally healthy

beerito:

*deletes selfie like it never happened*

legalmexican:

Dentist: *Has multiple things in your mouth*

"So how’s school?"

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

blink182andbeyond:

cashcutie:

the story of a man and his unlikely friend

He’s probably from Florida

gleeksunited-infinity:

zieglerandlukasiak:

brookiemariehyland:

Ellen should win an Oscar for being Ellen

"and the oscar for best ellen degeneres goes to…. ellen degeneres"

"And the oscar for best Leonardo Dicaprio goes to … Ellen Degeneres"

spicyshimmy:

spicyshimmy:

*carries a redshirt with me but doesn’t wear it* it’s a metaphor for dying on away missions but i don’t put it on because i don’t actually want to die on away missions

the fault in our star trek

jamieaiken919:

lilyhatesjazzhands:

shutupaubrey:

team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”

team “I wore this yesterday but I wore it under a jacket so I can wear it again, no one will know”

team “I’m going to wear these jeans until I spill something noticeable on them”

papagreglestrade:

dredsina:

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

Working in retail in a nutshell